Okay. AIG did a colossally stupid thing with these bonuses. They must have known what the backlash would be. Even a hint of excess right now is pretty much guaranteed to piss a lot of people off. They told the government what was coming and weren't cut off at the knees, which amounts to permission in the business world. Lots and lots of balls have been dropped over the past few months. This is just one more.
Over the past year, AIG has gotten more than $170 billion in federal aid. The bonuses total up to $165 million. The bonuses account for 0.097% of the total federal aid. PERCENT! The federal aid is more than a THOUSAND times greater than the bonuses. This is a literal drop in the bucket.
There are a lot of interesting quotes from senators and congressman. Some ultimatums, some threats, some promises, some hypocrisy. Status quo. This new tax is wrong--more wrong than the bonuses.
The government's job it to withdraw taxes for specific purposes (programs, services, The Beast, etc.). This is a tax of vengeance and drumming up public opinion. I am embarrassed on their behalf.
We have far larger problems right now. The smallest effective denomination to get us out of this mess is hundreds of billions of dollars leading up to trillions of dollars. How much money have we burned on witch hunts, hearings? How will these efforts help us even in the short term? The best we've done is refocus the public on smaller problems--scarcely a good thing in my estimation.
Right now, more than ever, we need to try and see the big picture. This money almost could not matter less in that big picture. President Obama--the supposed pragmatist--needs to move beyond this incident and lead us in the right direction, not get caught up with the pundits.
AIG beat the system. We deal with it this time, learn from our mistakes, and do our damnedest to prevent this nonsense from happening in the future.
I'm normally all about the principle of the matter, but this needs to just go away.
Thursday, March 19, 2009
Monday, March 9, 2009
My Letter to the Editor
I've got a job now. As with most jobs though, there is some down time to be found. I tend to devote much of my time reading through the Opinion section of whatever newspapers I can think of at the time. I came across one letter to the editor in the Washington Post today from someone in Sterling, Virginia that said, essentially, that the rich should consider their impending tax hikes an implicit "thank you" to all the middle-class workers on whose backs such fortunes were made.
Oh my.
This assumes, of course, that all wealthy (and, by implication, successful) people have somehow exploited the working man. Sure, there are some who fall into that category, but I'd wager that most of the truly wealthy are either the beneficiaries of Old Money or sound investments. Does a person really need a yacht, seven cars, or a third home? Arguably not, but that doesn't change the fact that people have all these things. Those people made those buying decisions because they had the funds to do so. Those people have expenses to maintain all those things. Why should any of that money go to bail out people who lose their shirts because they get stuck under a house they should never have had in the first place? Where does that supposed obligation come from?
The purpose of taxes is to pay the government for the services it offers. Such things include, education, Social Security, MediCare, welfare, and dozens of others. Excepting the first in the list, who uses these services? Not the rich. Why should the onus for these services rest solely on the shoulders of those who have escaped needing them?
I admit that I'm pretty insulated from such things. Also, I'm in a really sour mood. Seems to me that this is selfishness and jealousy at work. "We want all the perks, but none of the burden." Maybe that's what will come to replace the American Dream once we complete our changeover to socialism.
Right now we have an incredibly well-educated president who is using his superior speaking skills to convince the public to ignore all the problems with our current course:
* We still have no plan to save the banks (not that I necessarily think we should).
* We've been told that the DalaiBama will wage a war of sorts on pork-filled bills just after he signed more than $700,000,000,000 dollars of pork into law.
* We are at the beginning of a global depression.
* Global tensions are only going to rise as resources become scarce.
* Our president is closing Guantanamo Bay because of violations to the Geneva Convention...terrorists weren't at the Convention and non-citizens don't get Constitutional rights. Closing the camp is a publicity move to help Americans feel more warm and fuzzy inside. Obama's plan for Iraq is the same fucking thing Bush said, but it's okay because Obama's so very cute...and black...not that it matters.
What's the solution?
1. Stop messing with other countries
2. Acknowledge those in the military as the heroes they are; fund them, maintain military strength even in times of peace
3. Improve our education system. Civics isn't even taught in most places. Only successful schools get money. "No Child Left Behind" is a nice sentiment, but only hamstrings those who are actually able to excel. The Standards of Learning make it impossible for learning to be fun because teachers are penalized for deviating from the "necessary" material. Football teams get new jerseys every year, but bands and orchestras are forced to practice in asbestos-laced closets due to a "lack of funds." Why is it that every other industrialized nation can learn at least two languages to fluency and we are proud with mediocrity in English?
4. Practice what we preach. We are so anxious to go into other countries and show them how democracy is done. It's a good year when 35% of the population leaves their homes to vote for the next "Leader of the Free World." la-tee-fucking-da
5. Choose an official language. Wah, we'll be mean to all those illegal aliens. Oh well. If people want to retain their language and culture in their new neighborhood, fine, but English should be necessary to get around. What possible good reason could there be for translating the driving test into so many different languages?
6. Adopt American babies. I know those commercials can be tempting, but there are a lot of lost souls in foster care here. Help them. Other countries have their problems, it sucks, but our first obligation should be to help as much as possible at home and then look elsewhere.
7. We are not the world's police officer. Genocide is a terrible thing, but it's not our problem. We like to claim the moral high ground for such things, but let's not forget where this very land came from. Maybe we feel the need to atone for the sins of previous generations by trying to prevent all bad things happening, but a government cannot be a person. A government's exclusive purpose is to preserve itself and the people under its umbrella. Anyone outside that boundary, however desperate their situation, is simply extra.
8. Elect me as King. Seriously. You wanted change, right?
9. Understand that disagreeing does not mean partisan politics, it means disagreeing. When normal people don't see eye-to-eye, it sends them back to the negotiating table to try and find some middle-ground. When politicians don't see eye-to-eye they dig in their heels and scream "partisanship!" I hate politics. I hate politicians. The root of all evil on the planet is the politician. Disagree? Start proving me wrong.
10. Ban "reality" shows. This madness has to stop. There is no more efficient way of killing braincells than believing any of that is real. I wish I was kidding.
11. Last, but certainly not least, GET OVER YOURSELVES! "We're the best country on the planet," "We have the best form of government," "Capitalism is better than everything else," any of these sound familiar? I'm not gonna be the one to say any of these are wrong, but there is no place for such statements in rational conversation. "Best" is not a real measurement and, thus, can't be used as an accurate point of comparison. There's also a lot of bias because, y'know, we live here. Plenty of other countries get along just fine. Maybe it's ignorance on their part, but it's arrogance on ours. Which is worse?
I still have my hope, but it's a fragile light right now.
Oh my.
This assumes, of course, that all wealthy (and, by implication, successful) people have somehow exploited the working man. Sure, there are some who fall into that category, but I'd wager that most of the truly wealthy are either the beneficiaries of Old Money or sound investments. Does a person really need a yacht, seven cars, or a third home? Arguably not, but that doesn't change the fact that people have all these things. Those people made those buying decisions because they had the funds to do so. Those people have expenses to maintain all those things. Why should any of that money go to bail out people who lose their shirts because they get stuck under a house they should never have had in the first place? Where does that supposed obligation come from?
The purpose of taxes is to pay the government for the services it offers. Such things include, education, Social Security, MediCare, welfare, and dozens of others. Excepting the first in the list, who uses these services? Not the rich. Why should the onus for these services rest solely on the shoulders of those who have escaped needing them?
I admit that I'm pretty insulated from such things. Also, I'm in a really sour mood. Seems to me that this is selfishness and jealousy at work. "We want all the perks, but none of the burden." Maybe that's what will come to replace the American Dream once we complete our changeover to socialism.
Right now we have an incredibly well-educated president who is using his superior speaking skills to convince the public to ignore all the problems with our current course:
* We still have no plan to save the banks (not that I necessarily think we should).
* We've been told that the DalaiBama will wage a war of sorts on pork-filled bills just after he signed more than $700,000,000,000 dollars of pork into law.
* We are at the beginning of a global depression.
* Global tensions are only going to rise as resources become scarce.
* Our president is closing Guantanamo Bay because of violations to the Geneva Convention...terrorists weren't at the Convention and non-citizens don't get Constitutional rights. Closing the camp is a publicity move to help Americans feel more warm and fuzzy inside. Obama's plan for Iraq is the same fucking thing Bush said, but it's okay because Obama's so very cute...and black...not that it matters.
What's the solution?
1. Stop messing with other countries
2. Acknowledge those in the military as the heroes they are; fund them, maintain military strength even in times of peace
3. Improve our education system. Civics isn't even taught in most places. Only successful schools get money. "No Child Left Behind" is a nice sentiment, but only hamstrings those who are actually able to excel. The Standards of Learning make it impossible for learning to be fun because teachers are penalized for deviating from the "necessary" material. Football teams get new jerseys every year, but bands and orchestras are forced to practice in asbestos-laced closets due to a "lack of funds." Why is it that every other industrialized nation can learn at least two languages to fluency and we are proud with mediocrity in English?
4. Practice what we preach. We are so anxious to go into other countries and show them how democracy is done. It's a good year when 35% of the population leaves their homes to vote for the next "Leader of the Free World." la-tee-fucking-da
5. Choose an official language. Wah, we'll be mean to all those illegal aliens. Oh well. If people want to retain their language and culture in their new neighborhood, fine, but English should be necessary to get around. What possible good reason could there be for translating the driving test into so many different languages?
6. Adopt American babies. I know those commercials can be tempting, but there are a lot of lost souls in foster care here. Help them. Other countries have their problems, it sucks, but our first obligation should be to help as much as possible at home and then look elsewhere.
7. We are not the world's police officer. Genocide is a terrible thing, but it's not our problem. We like to claim the moral high ground for such things, but let's not forget where this very land came from. Maybe we feel the need to atone for the sins of previous generations by trying to prevent all bad things happening, but a government cannot be a person. A government's exclusive purpose is to preserve itself and the people under its umbrella. Anyone outside that boundary, however desperate their situation, is simply extra.
8. Elect me as King. Seriously. You wanted change, right?
9. Understand that disagreeing does not mean partisan politics, it means disagreeing. When normal people don't see eye-to-eye, it sends them back to the negotiating table to try and find some middle-ground. When politicians don't see eye-to-eye they dig in their heels and scream "partisanship!" I hate politics. I hate politicians. The root of all evil on the planet is the politician. Disagree? Start proving me wrong.
10. Ban "reality" shows. This madness has to stop. There is no more efficient way of killing braincells than believing any of that is real. I wish I was kidding.
11. Last, but certainly not least, GET OVER YOURSELVES! "We're the best country on the planet," "We have the best form of government," "Capitalism is better than everything else," any of these sound familiar? I'm not gonna be the one to say any of these are wrong, but there is no place for such statements in rational conversation. "Best" is not a real measurement and, thus, can't be used as an accurate point of comparison. There's also a lot of bias because, y'know, we live here. Plenty of other countries get along just fine. Maybe it's ignorance on their part, but it's arrogance on ours. Which is worse?
I still have my hope, but it's a fragile light right now.
Sunday, February 15, 2009
Think "Big Picture"
I hated Valentine's Day. I've always hated Valentine's Day. In elementary school, there was so much pressure to choose the "right" kind of Valentine. Were the X-Men still cool enough? Were they cool enough that I wouldn't get laughed at? What if someone else got the same package? That could be embarrassing. I had to give one to everyone too...even the people I didn't like. Sometimes people would give out candy and be liked for it, sometimes they had the misfortune of choosing the wrong sort. These are crippling decisions for a third-grader. Mom would usually end up getting frustrated and choose for me and, of course, none of my concerns were ever confirmed, but I couldn't escape playing the "what if" game. I hated Valentine's Day.
By middle school, Valentine's Day became more exclusive; such cards were only exchanged among friends and couples. I had rather few of the former and none of the latter. It was somewhere in here that Valentine's Day started to become something else: Singles' Awareness Day. I was thrilled to have escaped the pressure of choosing valentines to be distributed to my classmates, but I always sorta wished I got more. I hated Valentine's Day.
High school. Oh, high school. A lot of the people I know think back on their high school years with a those-were-the-days sort of nostalgia. It's a pretty resounding 'meh' in my memory. Some good things, some bad, a lot of lukewarm feelings. I escaped the first two years' Valentine's through a combination of homework and not caring. The "holiday" came and went all but unnoticed. At some point though, I got a girlfriend, and did she turn out to be a doozy! We started dating right around Valentine's Day, which also happened to be right around her birthday, and she'd had a crush on me for some time. I got lots of romantic bonus points for that...not that I had any idea at the time. For a while, I almost cared about the day; I would be able to combine holidays! What guy doesn't want that? Then we broke up. Badly. Whether through maturity or some other mechanism, I'd moved beyond hating Valentine's toward just not caring. I didn't care about Valentine's Day.
College was a fair bit of the same. I spent most of my time working, pretending to work, and playing games (in reverse order). The day came and went nearly without notice. I only knew because my roomie had a girlfriend and he knew better than to forget. Four whole years passed, and I still didn't care about Valentine's Day.
At last, real life...is pretty much more of the same. I get to see my friends more often. I'm still single, unemployed as of this writing, and I'm at my computer at 4am writing about Valentine's Day. I still think Valentine's Day is another manufactured, girl-centric holiday almost wholly designed to make the male halves of relationships worry about gifts or be lured into traps. There's a devious undercurrent to the whole thing that bothers me. Nonetheless, I think I'm starting to understand the hubbub.
I started off thinking about Valentine's Day as an extension of the ongoing school popularity contests to which I never learned the rules. After that, it was a reminder that others had something I could only just understand, much less obtain. Then, it just sort of stopped mattering for a while. It fell from the general consciousness and was taken care of more privately. And now, with some perspective and, I like to think, a bit of maturity, I see this in a different light. Valentine's Day, like most other holidays, is a day to reflect on relationships of any sort. Sure, a lot of the commercial emphasis is on romantic connections, but there's more to it. This is a day to dedicate to your most important connections.
Come what may, we'll always have friends and family. Keep them close.
By middle school, Valentine's Day became more exclusive; such cards were only exchanged among friends and couples. I had rather few of the former and none of the latter. It was somewhere in here that Valentine's Day started to become something else: Singles' Awareness Day. I was thrilled to have escaped the pressure of choosing valentines to be distributed to my classmates, but I always sorta wished I got more. I hated Valentine's Day.
High school. Oh, high school. A lot of the people I know think back on their high school years with a those-were-the-days sort of nostalgia. It's a pretty resounding 'meh' in my memory. Some good things, some bad, a lot of lukewarm feelings. I escaped the first two years' Valentine's through a combination of homework and not caring. The "holiday" came and went all but unnoticed. At some point though, I got a girlfriend, and did she turn out to be a doozy! We started dating right around Valentine's Day, which also happened to be right around her birthday, and she'd had a crush on me for some time. I got lots of romantic bonus points for that...not that I had any idea at the time. For a while, I almost cared about the day; I would be able to combine holidays! What guy doesn't want that? Then we broke up. Badly. Whether through maturity or some other mechanism, I'd moved beyond hating Valentine's toward just not caring. I didn't care about Valentine's Day.
College was a fair bit of the same. I spent most of my time working, pretending to work, and playing games (in reverse order). The day came and went nearly without notice. I only knew because my roomie had a girlfriend and he knew better than to forget. Four whole years passed, and I still didn't care about Valentine's Day.
At last, real life...is pretty much more of the same. I get to see my friends more often. I'm still single, unemployed as of this writing, and I'm at my computer at 4am writing about Valentine's Day. I still think Valentine's Day is another manufactured, girl-centric holiday almost wholly designed to make the male halves of relationships worry about gifts or be lured into traps. There's a devious undercurrent to the whole thing that bothers me. Nonetheless, I think I'm starting to understand the hubbub.
I started off thinking about Valentine's Day as an extension of the ongoing school popularity contests to which I never learned the rules. After that, it was a reminder that others had something I could only just understand, much less obtain. Then, it just sort of stopped mattering for a while. It fell from the general consciousness and was taken care of more privately. And now, with some perspective and, I like to think, a bit of maturity, I see this in a different light. Valentine's Day, like most other holidays, is a day to reflect on relationships of any sort. Sure, a lot of the commercial emphasis is on romantic connections, but there's more to it. This is a day to dedicate to your most important connections.
Come what may, we'll always have friends and family. Keep them close.
Wednesday, January 21, 2009
Curse Your Sudden But Inevitable Betrayal
I know, two posts in the same day. Does that seem right to you? I want to speak (maybe briefly) on my very favorite television show ever: Firefly. It's a damn crime that this show was canceled so early. In case you don't know (even though you should) Firefly is a sort of sci-fi spaghetti western with a dash of bluegrass music. It's an odd crossroads, but it is a fabulous idea that benefits from terrific writing, a deep story, dynamic characters, and amazing actors. Indeed, it's virtually everything one doesn't find in science fiction television...and everything I love.
Firefly has a rabid fanbase into which, I confess, I was rather late being inducted. The series has the dubious distinction as the only canceled TV show resurrected into a full-fledged Hollywood movie. The fans, Browncoats, they call themselves, accomplished this through an obsessive resolve that could rattle even the most determined Klingon wannabe.
I knew of the show for some time before I actually saw it. By the time my interest was really piqued, the show was gone. Ye olde Internet gave me my first taste and there was no turning back. There is genius at the core of Firefly; it's not necessarily a person. This is one of those exceedingly rare times that I believe the product is truly greater than the sum of its parts. Some of it comes from the passion that all those involved clearly poured into the camera. Some of it comes from the fans. Some of it comes from Fox's odd decision to drop it. Beyond all of that though, is the sense that simply by viewing these episodes, I have been a part of something special, something unique, something gone.
The opening song speaks volumes and, if one wishes it to be, seems almost prophetic:
Take my love, take my land
Take me where I cannot stand
I don't care, I'm still free
You can't take the sky from me
Take me out to the black
Tell them I ain't coming back
Burn the land and boil the sea
You can't take the sky from me
There's no place I can be
Since I found Serenity
But you can't take the sky from me...
I've watched the series from beginning to end no fewer than four times. I've watched my favorite episodes probably an additional three or four times. I've seen the movie, Serenity, three times as of this writing. Without exception, I love it more with each sit-through.
If we recall back to my opinion of Wall-E, I gave an emphatic "Go see it!" at the post's conclusion. It is at least equally imperative that everyone see Firefly and Serenity, probably more so, but the feeling is different somehow. Where Wall-E was fun, Firefly is seminal. It is the standard against which all future television, regardless of genre, should be held to. Where Wall-E is a great movie for the family, Firefly is but the tip of an iceberg composed of Awesome.
Don't watch Firefly because of my endorsement. Don't watch it to bow to geek pressure. Don't even watch it to support those involved. Watch Firefly because you do yourself a disservice through ignorance.
Firefly has a rabid fanbase into which, I confess, I was rather late being inducted. The series has the dubious distinction as the only canceled TV show resurrected into a full-fledged Hollywood movie. The fans, Browncoats, they call themselves, accomplished this through an obsessive resolve that could rattle even the most determined Klingon wannabe.
I knew of the show for some time before I actually saw it. By the time my interest was really piqued, the show was gone. Ye olde Internet gave me my first taste and there was no turning back. There is genius at the core of Firefly; it's not necessarily a person. This is one of those exceedingly rare times that I believe the product is truly greater than the sum of its parts. Some of it comes from the passion that all those involved clearly poured into the camera. Some of it comes from the fans. Some of it comes from Fox's odd decision to drop it. Beyond all of that though, is the sense that simply by viewing these episodes, I have been a part of something special, something unique, something gone.
The opening song speaks volumes and, if one wishes it to be, seems almost prophetic:
Take my love, take my land
Take me where I cannot stand
I don't care, I'm still free
You can't take the sky from me
Take me out to the black
Tell them I ain't coming back
Burn the land and boil the sea
You can't take the sky from me
There's no place I can be
Since I found Serenity
But you can't take the sky from me...
I've watched the series from beginning to end no fewer than four times. I've watched my favorite episodes probably an additional three or four times. I've seen the movie, Serenity, three times as of this writing. Without exception, I love it more with each sit-through.
If we recall back to my opinion of Wall-E, I gave an emphatic "Go see it!" at the post's conclusion. It is at least equally imperative that everyone see Firefly and Serenity, probably more so, but the feeling is different somehow. Where Wall-E was fun, Firefly is seminal. It is the standard against which all future television, regardless of genre, should be held to. Where Wall-E is a great movie for the family, Firefly is but the tip of an iceberg composed of Awesome.
Don't watch Firefly because of my endorsement. Don't watch it to bow to geek pressure. Don't even watch it to support those involved. Watch Firefly because you do yourself a disservice through ignorance.
The Audacity of Hope, Indeed
There's an awful lot of hope flying around today. Here we are, at the very precipice of change, and I see only two ways down: one leads to unbridled success, the other to uncontrollable failure. The chasm of terrible between the possibilities concerns me to no end, and I would very much rather take the first path than the second.
We, the American people, officially have a black president! Segregated water fountains are still in living memory. It's only just outside my lifetime that busing minorities into white schools nearly brought the country to its knees. I, and everyone I know, now regard skin color as little more than a benign twist of fate. We, everyone who voted, have done a momentous thing. It is a thing we must never forget, come what may.
I spent an hour or so crafting and deleting several more paragraphs outlining my concerns for the future before I realized that it doesn't matter--it wasn't the concerns that drove me to write this. I worry about war, torture, terrorism, corruption, recession, socialism, and racial strife--and that's just right now, not even a comprehensive list. Yet, I retain my optimism. Even as I think of all the terrible things that may be ahead, I can't help but feel...something.
Despite all the darkness I see looming on the horizon, I am warmed by the indomitable light of hope, and it truly seems audacious.
We, the American people, officially have a black president! Segregated water fountains are still in living memory. It's only just outside my lifetime that busing minorities into white schools nearly brought the country to its knees. I, and everyone I know, now regard skin color as little more than a benign twist of fate. We, everyone who voted, have done a momentous thing. It is a thing we must never forget, come what may.
I spent an hour or so crafting and deleting several more paragraphs outlining my concerns for the future before I realized that it doesn't matter--it wasn't the concerns that drove me to write this. I worry about war, torture, terrorism, corruption, recession, socialism, and racial strife--and that's just right now, not even a comprehensive list. Yet, I retain my optimism. Even as I think of all the terrible things that may be ahead, I can't help but feel...something.
Despite all the darkness I see looming on the horizon, I am warmed by the indomitable light of hope, and it truly seems audacious.
Monday, January 19, 2009
I'm always watching
We've established that I like video games, macro-level politics, and probably implied the general state of being a geek. Today, let's add "movie-lover" to the list. I really like movies, but my tastes are wildly diverse. I enjoy the sentimental cheesyness of the original Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles movie as much as the genre-defining awesome that was The Dark Knight. I'll even admit to enjoying the occasional chick-flick. The common thread between all the movies I like is an amalgam of story, character, and fun. The relative presence of these factors can pretty accurately predict how much I like a movie. The holy grail of movie-watching for me is the flick that elicits a real emotional reaction from me.
Some movies make my heart race. Other movies make me laugh. A small few make me cry, but it's only the really special movies that can do all three. Wall-E is one of those. I so love this movie that writing about it is difficult; my thoughts are too jumbled. I'll try and ease the process by focusing on the three things I look for in all movies.
The story is beyond engrossing. It takes place is a far-flung future that, with a careful application of hyperbole, feels horribly prophetic. The planet is so polluted that humanity's only hope of continued survival is to flee to space and leave robots to try and fix the ruin that we molded the planet to become. That seems rather doom-and-gloom, and it is if you think about it enough, but this is more than offset by the other two factors.
Good, believable, dynamic characters are possibly the single most important aspect of any story, especially movies. All the characters (that's right, ALL of them) are fascinating, lovable, and comforting in their humanity...regardless of actual species.
Finally, the fun-factor. Fun isn't really quantifiable. It's like luck or love; everyone knows what it is, but that definition is intensely personal. What's fun for me may be a chore for someone else. That said, I'm willing to make a statement, with no room for equivocation or interpretation, that this movie is fun. Even if only for this reason, everyone should see Wall-E.
Wall-E is the only movie I've seen this year that's made my heart race as if I was sprinting, made me laugh until I was sore, made me cry just enough to have to use my sleeve. Pixar is a master of its craft and they have no rivals. I have never seen a Pixar production that I didn't enjoy, but Wall-E is the new standard.
I sweat from anxiety, laughed 'til I hurt, and burned my eyes with tears in the span of a 90-minute movie. If ever there was a definition of superb, Wall-E is it.
Seriously, go watch the movie.
Some movies make my heart race. Other movies make me laugh. A small few make me cry, but it's only the really special movies that can do all three. Wall-E is one of those. I so love this movie that writing about it is difficult; my thoughts are too jumbled. I'll try and ease the process by focusing on the three things I look for in all movies.
The story is beyond engrossing. It takes place is a far-flung future that, with a careful application of hyperbole, feels horribly prophetic. The planet is so polluted that humanity's only hope of continued survival is to flee to space and leave robots to try and fix the ruin that we molded the planet to become. That seems rather doom-and-gloom, and it is if you think about it enough, but this is more than offset by the other two factors.
Good, believable, dynamic characters are possibly the single most important aspect of any story, especially movies. All the characters (that's right, ALL of them) are fascinating, lovable, and comforting in their humanity...regardless of actual species.
Finally, the fun-factor. Fun isn't really quantifiable. It's like luck or love; everyone knows what it is, but that definition is intensely personal. What's fun for me may be a chore for someone else. That said, I'm willing to make a statement, with no room for equivocation or interpretation, that this movie is fun. Even if only for this reason, everyone should see Wall-E.
Wall-E is the only movie I've seen this year that's made my heart race as if I was sprinting, made me laugh until I was sore, made me cry just enough to have to use my sleeve. Pixar is a master of its craft and they have no rivals. I have never seen a Pixar production that I didn't enjoy, but Wall-E is the new standard.
I sweat from anxiety, laughed 'til I hurt, and burned my eyes with tears in the span of a 90-minute movie. If ever there was a definition of superb, Wall-E is it.
Seriously, go watch the movie.
Monday, January 5, 2009
An Early-Adopter's New Year's Lament
I'm a gamer. I really like gaming. Had I my druthers, that's probably how I'd spend much of my time. Unfortunately, life's just hectic enough that It's hard for me to justify long sessions of killing aliens anymore. For those who don't keep up with such things, 2008 was a hell of a year for video games...well, for the Xbox 360 anyway. There's Dead Space, Grand Theft Auto IV, Fallout 3, Gears of War 2, Mirror's Edge, Prince of Persia, and Fable 2 just off the top of my head. This can account for literally hundreds of hours invested in putting a permanent butt-print in a favorite chair.
Here's the thing: I actually own all these games. If ever there was a sign of waste, this is probably it. Of all these games, I've had little chance to get very far in any of them. They're all critically-acclaimed. Seriously, everyone seems to love these things. Then there's me. I'm not sure I like most of these.
Dead Space threatens to actually scare the poo out of me. I scare pretty easily as it is, and I usually try and avoid games of this sort, but there was such a great ad campaign that I forked over the cash for a pre-order. I made it through the first level with clean undies, but only just. Games should be fun. Excitement can be fun. Fear is scary...and not fun for me. One may ask, "So, Chris, if you scare so easily, why would you get a game specifically designed to scare its players?" I'd reply with a shrug and a sheepish "I dunno." Dead Space is a technically great game that does exactly what one of its genre should, I just don't find a great deal of amusement in it.
Grand Theft Auto IV just isn't my kind of game. In my childhood fantasies, the heroes were always good and the villains were always bad. That's really all there was to it. That's why I was such a huge fan of Superman and Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles--they were good. The thrust of GTA has always been that the player is a bad guy waging war on worse guys. An anti-hero, if you will. Being good by comparison was never really an ambition of mine. Video games are an effective extension of my imagination, of my fantasies, and I'm too good to play a bad guy. GTA4 does everything right. It has some great technology to draw the player into the universe. The voice-acting is top-notch. I've been told there's even a great story. It's a game with virtually everything I want, with the nagging detail of making me a quasi-villain. One could ask the same question as above, and that person would get a similar answer.
Fallout 3 is just not a pretty environment (what, with all the nuclear...umm...fallout). This was my first foray into the Fallout universe, so I didn't have the same nostalgic expectations as many others just as I didn't really know what I was getting into. There was a lot of hype, and the developers were the same people behind one of my very favorite games, so what could go wrong? In a word, the game is ugly. Sure, everything is rendered well and character animations are some of the best I've seen, but it's all so ugly. Most games pride themselves on having rich, vibrant worlds full of life and discovery. Fallout 3 is a barren, nuclear wasteland in which the big discoveries are burned out homes and multi-headed super mutants. Yay? The gameplay is great, the characters are fun, and the story is engrossing, but running around in the world is so damned depressing.
Gears of War 2 earns more praise than most of this list, but I still have some problems. Gears 2 boasts some of the best writing I've ever experienced in games and the most poignant cutscene ever made. Unfortunately, only some of the writing was really that good. Some of it sounds very much like my creative writing...which is still firmly entrenched in the seventh grade. Aside from the one beacon of awesome, the cutscenes are fairly mundane--fun and gory, to be sure, but mundane. The gameplay is solid and very nearly usurps Halo's title as best-controlling-first-person-shooter. The story, for what it is, is good. Dom's search for his wife, Maria, is heart wrenching with an amazing payoff. It is that detail alone that saves my opinion of this script. There's a lot of fun to be had (not even counting multiplayer) and I'm happy with my purchase, but I'm expecting more from Gears 3.
Mirror's Edge. Oh, my goodness, Mirror's Edge. The previews for this game literally made my heart race a bit. A game about free-running (parkour, for you nitpickers)! There is a sense of speed in this game unmatched by anything else I've seen. The complete lack of heads-up-display is as refreshing as the gameplay. In the first few seconds, I sensed that this would be a paradigm-shifting experience, something that would finally push the platforming genre into more respectable territory. I was about half-right. Of nine missions, the first four-and-a-half are exactly what I wanted: frantic problem-solving while jumping from rooftop to rooftop while being hunted by an implacable enemy. The emphasis was on evasion. Starting part way through the fourth stage, the emphasis shifted to combat. Faith, the main character, kinda sucks at combat; she's much better designed for the earlier evasion tactics. This shift made what started off as a contender for the "Chris' Most Favoritest Gaem Evar!!1!one" title into a game threatening to edge out Devil May Cry and Ninja Gaiden for "Most Controller-Breakingly Frustrating Game Ever Created by Satan." This so could have been something great, but it now rests on my shelf, likely never to be completed.
Prince of Persia is good. I love the new art style. It's a good re-imagining of the franchise and an intriguing springboard into the inevitable sequels. It's the combat system that holds this game back. For all its fluidity and gradual learning curve, it's a little lame fighting just the one enemy at a time secure in the knowledge that it is impossible to die. Literally. Impossible. There's an achievement to be earned for not dying much, but that's not a big motivator for me. It's fun, but feels too idiot-proof for me to really get excited over. I'm not sure that's a bad things per se, it's impossible to please everyone, but it took me too far out of the game world to care as much as I need to to remain focused.
Fable 2 is probably the biggest disappointment. It's one of the few games that seemed it would actually live up to its own hype machine. Fable 2 occurs in a world which is noticeably and permanently affected by the player's actions. That's a huge step for gaming. Many games nowadays have multiple endings, but they're finite, specific conclusions. Fable 2 has nearly limitless possibilities with thousands of nuances that will make every player's experience unique to that one's decisions and style. I was very, very happy when I got my copy at last. I jumped right in and powered through the first few quests, bought property, flirted, farted, got married, and purchased my first home. I was having a blast. Then I got a quest that I couldn't figure out how to complete. I needed to bring someone to a place, but the person wouldn't follow me. I went to the quest-giver for a hint, but he wouldn't talk to me. I turned to the Internet for a hint and found that I was one of the relatively few who got stuck in a game-ruining bug. Because of the way the save files work, it was impossible to retrieve my character. The ten hours or so I spent building this persona are lost forever and I have nothing but frustration to show for it. Okay, I can do this, I can start over. I made a new character...and got stuck in another game-ruining bug! I've done some reading and I know where all the really bad bugs found so far are, but I can't play anymore. I can't stand the thought of playing a game with the ever-present threat of ruining my experience.
So, what's the moral of the story? I have no idea. I was looking at my game shelf thinking of what I wanted to play and saw all my brand-new games...then pulled out an old one. There are a lot of people in the industry working themselves into a lather over how many huge games dropped this year. There were a lot of big games, but I don't really like many of them. I think I'm officially off the early-adopter bandwagon. After hundreds of dollars spent on new games, I spend most of my time playing my 2-4 year old titles.
The realization that hundreds of dollars of potential awesome sits inert on my shelf is depressing and frustrating. I don't really have a pithy ending to this one. This is really just to vent a bit. More snarkiness to come, I'm sure.
Here's the thing: I actually own all these games. If ever there was a sign of waste, this is probably it. Of all these games, I've had little chance to get very far in any of them. They're all critically-acclaimed. Seriously, everyone seems to love these things. Then there's me. I'm not sure I like most of these.
Dead Space threatens to actually scare the poo out of me. I scare pretty easily as it is, and I usually try and avoid games of this sort, but there was such a great ad campaign that I forked over the cash for a pre-order. I made it through the first level with clean undies, but only just. Games should be fun. Excitement can be fun. Fear is scary...and not fun for me. One may ask, "So, Chris, if you scare so easily, why would you get a game specifically designed to scare its players?" I'd reply with a shrug and a sheepish "I dunno." Dead Space is a technically great game that does exactly what one of its genre should, I just don't find a great deal of amusement in it.
Grand Theft Auto IV just isn't my kind of game. In my childhood fantasies, the heroes were always good and the villains were always bad. That's really all there was to it. That's why I was such a huge fan of Superman and Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles--they were good. The thrust of GTA has always been that the player is a bad guy waging war on worse guys. An anti-hero, if you will. Being good by comparison was never really an ambition of mine. Video games are an effective extension of my imagination, of my fantasies, and I'm too good to play a bad guy. GTA4 does everything right. It has some great technology to draw the player into the universe. The voice-acting is top-notch. I've been told there's even a great story. It's a game with virtually everything I want, with the nagging detail of making me a quasi-villain. One could ask the same question as above, and that person would get a similar answer.
Fallout 3 is just not a pretty environment (what, with all the nuclear...umm...fallout). This was my first foray into the Fallout universe, so I didn't have the same nostalgic expectations as many others just as I didn't really know what I was getting into. There was a lot of hype, and the developers were the same people behind one of my very favorite games, so what could go wrong? In a word, the game is ugly. Sure, everything is rendered well and character animations are some of the best I've seen, but it's all so ugly. Most games pride themselves on having rich, vibrant worlds full of life and discovery. Fallout 3 is a barren, nuclear wasteland in which the big discoveries are burned out homes and multi-headed super mutants. Yay? The gameplay is great, the characters are fun, and the story is engrossing, but running around in the world is so damned depressing.
Gears of War 2 earns more praise than most of this list, but I still have some problems. Gears 2 boasts some of the best writing I've ever experienced in games and the most poignant cutscene ever made. Unfortunately, only some of the writing was really that good. Some of it sounds very much like my creative writing...which is still firmly entrenched in the seventh grade. Aside from the one beacon of awesome, the cutscenes are fairly mundane--fun and gory, to be sure, but mundane. The gameplay is solid and very nearly usurps Halo's title as best-controlling-first-person-shooter. The story, for what it is, is good. Dom's search for his wife, Maria, is heart wrenching with an amazing payoff. It is that detail alone that saves my opinion of this script. There's a lot of fun to be had (not even counting multiplayer) and I'm happy with my purchase, but I'm expecting more from Gears 3.
Mirror's Edge. Oh, my goodness, Mirror's Edge. The previews for this game literally made my heart race a bit. A game about free-running (parkour, for you nitpickers)! There is a sense of speed in this game unmatched by anything else I've seen. The complete lack of heads-up-display is as refreshing as the gameplay. In the first few seconds, I sensed that this would be a paradigm-shifting experience, something that would finally push the platforming genre into more respectable territory. I was about half-right. Of nine missions, the first four-and-a-half are exactly what I wanted: frantic problem-solving while jumping from rooftop to rooftop while being hunted by an implacable enemy. The emphasis was on evasion. Starting part way through the fourth stage, the emphasis shifted to combat. Faith, the main character, kinda sucks at combat; she's much better designed for the earlier evasion tactics. This shift made what started off as a contender for the "Chris' Most Favoritest Gaem Evar!!1!one" title into a game threatening to edge out Devil May Cry and Ninja Gaiden for "Most Controller-Breakingly Frustrating Game Ever Created by Satan." This so could have been something great, but it now rests on my shelf, likely never to be completed.
Prince of Persia is good. I love the new art style. It's a good re-imagining of the franchise and an intriguing springboard into the inevitable sequels. It's the combat system that holds this game back. For all its fluidity and gradual learning curve, it's a little lame fighting just the one enemy at a time secure in the knowledge that it is impossible to die. Literally. Impossible. There's an achievement to be earned for not dying much, but that's not a big motivator for me. It's fun, but feels too idiot-proof for me to really get excited over. I'm not sure that's a bad things per se, it's impossible to please everyone, but it took me too far out of the game world to care as much as I need to to remain focused.
Fable 2 is probably the biggest disappointment. It's one of the few games that seemed it would actually live up to its own hype machine. Fable 2 occurs in a world which is noticeably and permanently affected by the player's actions. That's a huge step for gaming. Many games nowadays have multiple endings, but they're finite, specific conclusions. Fable 2 has nearly limitless possibilities with thousands of nuances that will make every player's experience unique to that one's decisions and style. I was very, very happy when I got my copy at last. I jumped right in and powered through the first few quests, bought property, flirted, farted, got married, and purchased my first home. I was having a blast. Then I got a quest that I couldn't figure out how to complete. I needed to bring someone to a place, but the person wouldn't follow me. I went to the quest-giver for a hint, but he wouldn't talk to me. I turned to the Internet for a hint and found that I was one of the relatively few who got stuck in a game-ruining bug. Because of the way the save files work, it was impossible to retrieve my character. The ten hours or so I spent building this persona are lost forever and I have nothing but frustration to show for it. Okay, I can do this, I can start over. I made a new character...and got stuck in another game-ruining bug! I've done some reading and I know where all the really bad bugs found so far are, but I can't play anymore. I can't stand the thought of playing a game with the ever-present threat of ruining my experience.
So, what's the moral of the story? I have no idea. I was looking at my game shelf thinking of what I wanted to play and saw all my brand-new games...then pulled out an old one. There are a lot of people in the industry working themselves into a lather over how many huge games dropped this year. There were a lot of big games, but I don't really like many of them. I think I'm officially off the early-adopter bandwagon. After hundreds of dollars spent on new games, I spend most of my time playing my 2-4 year old titles.
The realization that hundreds of dollars of potential awesome sits inert on my shelf is depressing and frustrating. I don't really have a pithy ending to this one. This is really just to vent a bit. More snarkiness to come, I'm sure.
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